Proceed with caution

How often is it that you see an attractive woman with a guy who would generally be deemed as ugly or "scrubbish" by the general public? If you're in college, or even at the mall, odds are you see it a lot. Ever wonder how a guy like that could pull a woman like her, or why a woman like her would be with a guy like him? You have to wonder what mindset she was in when she started dating him, and HOW the guy managed to snag a woman like that.

There are a few theories as to why a woman chooses someone who would seem to be "not her type" than a guy she would or could normally date. One theory could be the whole personality thing. The guy may be nice, listen to what she has to say, etc. But then the question arises: how exactly did a conversation between the two start out to where she found out about his personality? Maybe (and this is usually the case, as I've seen) the guy approached her and started talking, and out of respect (or entertainment) the woman started listening.

Another theory is the whole "friends-that-became-lovers" scenario. This is more common because these days many women have more guy friends than girl friends, and after a while a spark between two friends occurs. There may not have been an initial physical attraction at first, and in this case personality almost always exceeds looks.

The biggest theory, and the one that's most likely to be true (I apologize in advance), is power. In a relationship between an attractive woman and a scrubby guy, the woman has the power in the relationship. She knows that she could probably get a more attractive guy, but at the same time he could probably pull as many women as she can guys. To prevent getting cheated on, a woman will date a guy who can't pull a lot (if any) women, and therefore he'll be loyal to her. Not only that, but he'll be dependent on her and maybe even gain some pride. This in turn gives the woman power over him and the ability to turn him into whatever kind of man she wants him to be. It also gives her the freedom to see him whenever she wants, and even cheat without him knowing it.

In some ways, it's not fair for the scrub. I know of women who've cheated on their boyfriends simply because they can, or because they're bored in their relationship. In most cases, if an attractive woman is dating and attractive guy, she won't cheat on him, and vise versa. It makes me wonder: why would you date someone you're not really physically attracted to? Or why would you continue to date someone who you're either bored with or not/no longer attracted to (why not just break up)?

People can argue, "It's not all about looks" and so forth, but most if not all of the time, men and women approach, talk to, and date people they find attractive. You get to know them on a deeper level after that initial physical attraction, and that's how relationships start and grow. It's not being superficial or conceited; it's simply having limits, standards, and needs. That's why we all dress to impress at bars, clubs, and other social places: in order to show ourselves off and attract the opposite sex.

In reality, we all want someone we feel some type of strong connection with. In a lot of our hierarchies (ranked attributes we look for in the opposite sex, like looks, personality, intelligence, etc.) looks are at the top of the list, followed by whatever. It's not a bad thing to find someone you're physically attracted to first, and then get to know them. It's probably best for both parties to start with that in mind for the benefit of the potential relationship, because as long as you're physically attracted to each other it helps ensure a longer relationship, unless of course the woman's a bitch and the guy's an asshole.